The Employees Engagement Lie
How chasing employee engagement is killing engagement & institutionalizing mediocrity
I had a six-dollar part sitting in my cupholder. Just a machine screw with a rivnut, nothing special, but critical to a repair I needed to finish. I put it there intentionally so I wouldn’t forget to install it. It wasn’t lost. It wasn’t forgotten. It was staged for action.
Then one of my employees detailed my truck. And the part vanished.
I asked them to help me find it. I didn’t get urgency. I didn’t get accountability. I got blank stares and half-assed effort. They checked the cupholder, where I had clearly already looked, then shrugged and said, “It’s not here.”
No curiosity. No problem-solving. No personal ownership.
Just… meh.
When I shared the story with Colleen, she said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“I can see how frustrating it is when you’re trying to get someone to engage… and they just won’t.”
She was right. That’s exactly what it was.
But here’s the shift: it's not my job to get someone to engage.
And it sure as hell isn’t a problem with me if they won’t.
The Cult of “Employee Engagement”
Every year, Gallup publishes a report that sounds the alarm:
Employee engagement is down again!
Every year, Harvard Business Review and HR thought leaders rally the troops:
Managers, you need to fix this!
And every year, a new wave of leaders internalizes the message:
“If your people aren’t motivated, it’s your fault.”
This is bullshit. Leadership mumbo jumbo weaponized by the masses, enabling the idea that it’s a leader’s job to motivate employees to do real work, instead of collecting a paycheck for sitting around watching TikTok, waiting to be asked to do something. And if we give them any kind of feedback that hurts their feelings, it’s our fault they aren’t productive, because we “demotivated” them.
I was speaking at a leadership offsite last year at the Seattle Space Needle, a room full of aerospace execs. After my keynote, I stuck around for the rest of the meeting. At one point, HR presented the latest engagement numbers, and one of the senior managers said something that perfectly captured the problem:
“I understand the concern… but I don’t know what else I can do. I’m trying to engage them. I just can’t figure out how to motivate them.”
I asked to speak. I said, “Motivation is like trust. You can’t demand it, you can only earn it. And even then, they have to choose to give it.”
Unfortunately, I was never asked back…
This is the trap. The leadership and HR complex has fully bought into the idea that engagement is the manager’s responsibility. And as a result, engagement continues to fall off a cliff, year after year.
Here’s the truth: Engagement isn’t something you can get from people. It’s something they have to choose to give.
What Managers Can Control
Let’s reset the narrative. Here’s what leaders need to do, it’s non-negotiable:
Set clear expectations and priorities.
No ambiguity. No guessing games. If they don’t know what “done” looks like, that’s on you.Provide direction and support.
When someone is putting in the effort but struggling due to inexperience, lack of skill, or over-complexity, you teach, coach, and guide.Create a culture of discipline and trust.
You show up. You follow through. You set the tone.Recognize and reward outcomes.
Nobody gets a trophy or a paycheck for showing up. Not effort. Not enthusiasm. Not good vibes. Just results.Quickly exit those who can’t or won’t engage.
Not to teach them a lesson, we’re not their parents. But to protect the team members who can and will. The surest way to drive the engaged out of your company is to coddle the disengaged, because the engaged end up picking up the slack. That’s why engagement numbers keep falling off a cliff.
“Who is John Galt?” —Ayn Rand
Too many teams are full of people who smile, nod, and participate in meetings… but don’t understand that meetings are meant to advance objectives. Any meeting that doesn’t is a waste of time and money. Managers are pressured to “keep morale high” and “make work meaningful,” so they celebrate intention instead of execution.
And that’s how mediocrity got institutionalized.
Engagement Is a Standard, Not a Strategy
You can’t coach someone who disregards the coaching. You can’t lead someone who won’t follow. And you damn sure can’t “engage” someone who’s made up their mind not to be.
Motivation is not your job. Your job is to lead.
To be clear, great leadership can be motivating.
When we set a clear vision, prioritize fiercely, and lead with consistency and humility, people are more likely to rise and succeed. Those around them will get infected by this motivation because, fundamentally, people crave success. If you show them what success looks like, you are being motivating, and people will follow.
Coddling, complimenting mediocrity, and begging? That’s not motivating. It’s demotivating and disingenuous. And it’s the quickest way to teach people to loathe and distrust you.
The Bottom Line
If someone isn’t engaged, it’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to deal with it.
Which means… don’t tolerate it. Don’t adjust for it. Don’t cover for it. Lead effectively, and quickly exit those who can’t or won’t follow.
Kill employee engagement.
Not the buzzword, but the fantasy that it’s a leader’s job to breathe life into the disengaged. Instead, raise the bar. Clarify the standard. And lead your team.
Looking for a little courage before stepping up and leading your team?
Read “Nobody Cares” by Ben Horowitz.
Ben is a cofounder of Andreessen Horowitz, one of the most prolific and influential venture capital firms in Silicon Valley. They’ve backed giants like Facebook, Airbnb, Coinbase, Slack, and GitHub, shaping entire industries in tech, crypto, and AI.
This piece is pure oxygen for any leader who’s done tolerating excuses. It’s not motivational fluff. It’s a reality check. Enjoy.
→ Download your free gift: Nobody Cares by Ben Horowitz